On accepting praise

Julia Roberts in the movie pretty woman said that the bad stuff is easier to believe. Seems an odd way to begin, but as I have been working my waythrough this weightless journey, I am finding myself victim to more compliments than I know what to do with. I realize that saying that I AM a victim of praise is like begging someone to give you another compliment. But I suppose that mostly it's because I don't much look at where I am - at least with work - and do not think this is what is wrong with what I did and how can I make it better. Unfortunately, I do the same thing with everything else - so as well as learning to just say Thank you, I need to learn to just say Great Job. I hope though that I am never content to be just where I am - but to always be better.

How to Say Goodbye

So this year, I began teaching my 18th year at Greenwood High School. And I was lucky enough to have seniors for 3 out of the 6 classes. And as the semester and the school year wind down, I am finding that my whole perspective on goodbyes has shifted dramatically in the past year. This year has been, in no small part, a bit of an homage to my mom. I think that the part of me that is the most like her comes out when I am teaching high school kids. And I have tried to share my life experiences with my students to some degree. That has happened more with some classes than others. But the reason that I mention my mother is so that I can explain the new emotional roller coaster that becomes goodbyes. Until this year, saying goodbye was never so difficult. It was always a see you later -- and then out of sight out of mind kind of way of being. I just let stuff go. But this year, saying goodbye to these kids just brings up the goodbye to my momma... and then the waterworks begin. It's really sometimes so very strange - this out of body observation of newly emotional self, trying to figure out what is going on and why I am so upset. But these are not just a little while goodbyes, see you after summer goodbyes with my senior babies. This is I'll probably never see you again goodbyes and I am not sure that I want the world to work that way. I guess that means it wasn't until I was 47 that I learned that sometimes people leave and never come back. But these kids are on the precipice of their life about to jump off, and I must watch them leave. I am so excited and happy for them -- but grieving for myself. But, there are by far much worse things than learning how much you care about someone or something through tears.