I’ve been having a lot of dreams lately. Most likely because I’ve been taking benedryl every night to fight off allergies enough to help me rest so that I can make it into school the next day. Many of those dreams have been related to the 20th high school reunion that I have coming up. That I sort of want to go to, but don’t really want to attend. The last one was about the party at Kim and Stan’s house (which in my dream was some sort of mansion) – and we rode a school bus to get there. JR Body (sp) was a doctor. And that’s about all I remember there. Those haven’t been bad dreams. Usually my nightmares aren’t even really tat bad. My nightmares are usually about tornadoes. They say that if you dream about tornadoes that you are actually dreaming about changes that are occurring in your life. I dream about tornadoes a lot -0 always have. Ell let me qualify that. I have since I was 23 or 25 – which is a long time ago now. Usually they aren’t really bad dreams, though they almost always wake me up. Usually the dreams have me in someone’s house (mine, grandmas, where ever) and there are always a lot of really small tornadoes. But I can always see them coming. I look out the window, and see these tiny little tornadoes coming down and I always have time to get everyone to safety. Tonight I didn’t have that sort of tornado dream.
It was in my living room, though my furniture arrangement was different, and the basement door was not in the kitchen but off the living room (sort of like Kay and Larry’s house in Morgantown – I know none of you know that that looks like, but I do). And my friend David was there. It was on the Friday night of my 20 year high school reunion. I didn’t go, but was in Cadiz. And David had stopped by. Jose wasn’t there. And I didn’t see Elijah or Isaiah there either. I was talking about why Jodi was upset – and sitting here, I don’t really remember why that was, something about rumors going around about mom and Lesa. Anyway, the wind started to blow. And I commented that the game was probably going to be rained out, and all of the sudden it wasn’t just a little hard wind, it was a tornado, a big one, that had snuck up on us. And Mom, David, Lesa and I rand downstairs – and it was only then that I remembered Isaiah and Elijah. Which was of course when I work up, and had to spend the next several minutes wracking my break trying to find them in my dream somewhere. Where they in the house but sleeping? Sleeping on the couch. Why were they sleeping so early, they never go to sleep. Quick-- go back to sleep and try to re-dream the ending so that it’s different. So that I know they are safe. But there was no doing it – and so I’m here trying to exorcise some sleep demons by writing them down . And will most likely travel from the keyboard to the benadryl which has unsuccessfully been trying to tackle the allergic funk that has settled in the back of my throat and chest, and a cheesy romance novel until my eyes can no longer remain open.
I don’t often have nightmares like this where I wake up and can’t go back to sleep. But there have been periods in my life that I’ve been plagued by bad dreams. When we first moved back to Cadiz in the 4th grade, I used to dream that the electric monster who appeared in the opening sequence of spiderman and friends (with fire starter girl and iceman – they were x-men) was chasing me and some others through the forest. And like a good Star Trek episode, the new person to the dream was always the one who got it before we reached the safety of the barn. I often dream, still even today, that I’m trying to cross the road, but somehow am unable to do so. I either fall down, or my legs quit working. Something always keeps me in the danger of the road with the knowledge that a car is coming and I’m going to get hit if I don’t find a way to get across. That one usually wakes me up. Added to that dream was the real experience that I had last summer when I was crossing the road to get the mail and tripped and fell. And I actually had a very real fear that my dream was going to come true and I wasn’t going to be able to get up in time to get across the road to safety. I don’t think I’ve had that dream much since then.
At the ripe old age of 37, oops 38, usually the dreams that wake me up are the ones that involve the safety of my children. And t hose are the ones that keep me up long after the dream has passed. Those are the ones that really suck. Even now, I am wracked with guilt that in my dream, I ran downstairs and didn’t even think of Isaiah and Elijah until I was already under the stairs and couldn’t go back up. It’s those sorts of dreams that make you go to Walmart and purchase a cooler to make a disaster kit though.
Anyway, I’m not going to try to analyze the dream – I’m not su re that I want to know what this one means - We’re just going to let it stand, and fade into the background and hope that Dylan, the ½ breed cowboy who’s set his sights on Hannah will help me forget it all.
