My mom once described my dad as a gonna do. And to be fair, Wayne Walker is forevermore planning one thing or the other in his head. There is probably not a conversation that goes by that dad won’t say something like “you know what you oughta do…” And I have found that I have a bit of that in my own personality. I like to call it being the “idea man.” It is one of my trials in teaching. I love to come up with ideas, but I don’t much care about seeing if they work, or analyzing data, or the rest of the ick stuff that mucks up the joy of coming up with the idea. But I’m working on that.
I think an aspect of that is the glass ½ full, and more’s on the way, mentality. That pipe dream that something wonderful is just around the corner. For some people, not getting that pipe dream is a foundation for depression or despondency. But that’s only if you quit believing that something good is just around the corner . . . AND if you aren’t content or happy with what you have right now. My mind flashes to the beginning of Pretty Woman when the homeless guy is walking down the street saying “What’s your dream? Everybody got a dream?” And I think that as we get older, we forget what that dream is. When I was in high school, my dream was to get out of high school, to get a real life (maybe a husband, good job, be financially secure (able to buy what I wanted – that’s a pipe dream for sure), maybe a couple of kids). When I first started teaching, my dream was to be Disney’s Teacher of the Year. There is actually a lot of work that is entailed in being Disney’s Teacher of the Year – and I’m not sure how much editing goes into those vignettes, but I’m pretty sure that I’m not that enthusiastic about teaching (it’s still my job – not my life). And another bit of pipe dream comes from thinking, wouldn’t it be nice to be an author. I say that with about the same sort of self belief that I say, wouldn’t it be nice to be size 10. Do they make a magic pill for either? This whole blog thing is sort of my passive aggressive step in that direction. I’ll write, and then put it on the web and see if some exec. From Random house happens upon my writing and says oh my god, it’s brilliant, come write for me! I had thought of sending letters of interests to local newspaper and start a column – Erma Bombeck as inspiration. But you know, that’s also a lot more time and effort for something that I’m not sure that I actually want to pursue. Though don’t get me wrong, if someone came and said – we’ll pay you 60k a year to write for our paper. I’m pretty sure I could pop out some nonsense or the other once a week without any true difficulty. But that’s just a thought. And as Delores Claiborn says – wish in one hand, spit in the other and see which gets filled up first.
So anyway, I did a web search and found a small publish company and have submitted a few blogs for perusal / evaluation. I’ve a sneaking suspicion that it’s going to turn out to be a vanity press. At which point, I’m not so vain and too poor for that. But it’s better than the passive aggressive waiting that has been occurring. And who knows, perhaps someday I’ll be a published author and if you go into a ½ price book store, you’ll see my blogs, nicely arranged and on sale for 50 cents – of which I’ll make a whopping 2 cents. Ahhh, the sweet smell of success.
