So, Friday, we took a day. We'd gone to Cadiz to see my dad, who had the flu - though we didn't know that until we got there. So the boys and I, in consideration for senior citizen illness - and hidden concerns about swine flu - decided to turn the day into an educational field trip day. We went to Land Between the Lakes. The first stop was the planetarium. We got out of the car, and began to walk in, me and my boys. And being a good mom of boys, familiar with the simple joy in creating a lovely, loud fart, as I was walking and felt the urge, I succumbed. And when I looked behind me to see the reaction of the boys, instead, I saw a strange man, who had mysteriously appeared behind Elijah, walking up. And I froze. Now, in retrospect, if I'd been a bit smoother, I would have laughed out loud and told him that I'll be he sure wasn't expecting that. What I came up with was, "oh... oh..." blind grasp for Isaiah's hand and another "oh...Isaiah." With a deep seated, though realistically fantastical, belief that perhaps the man would credit said gas passing to my young son, instead of me. And then, there was the painful walk into the planetarium, as he sped up and passed me - catching and avoiding my eye as he walked by. And me, not to be cowered into embarrassment, looking at him and saying, "hello, how are you?" And then once he'd passed, Elijah came up behind me and looked at me and whispered, "you passed gas in front of him." In my deep felt mortification, I can't recall all that he said - I know that he had a "that's just not right." sort of approach, and all I could do was grin stupidly while I attempted not to break into hysterical laughter, nodding all the while. And now as I think of it - that man could probably witness the whole conversation in the window of the doors as he was walking up - and still, he had the courage to open the door for us. And I, had the courtesy to not pass gas again as I entered.
And now, I challenge each of you to share your own caught passing gas story - because you know you all have one. It's liberating to share it and own up to it. I FART therefore I AM.
