Facebook … really what is it. Many call it a social networking site. And I suppose it does meet that need. I know that I have a chance to connect with more people via Facebook than I do in real life. But it serves another, ulterior motive, at least for me. It satisfies that small town need to know everyone’s business. It’s the virtual peer into the medicine cabinet when you are using the guest bathroom. You get to see everyone’s little posts, their pictures, and tiny snapshots into the lives of people that you may see every day, or haven’t seen in years. It’s like the snoopers dream high school reunion. For instance, on my limited friends list, I have members of the elite Trigg County graduating class of 1987. I wasn’t a member of that group, but on Facebook, I am a “friend.” Who knew it would be so easy to be included. Though, let’s not kid ourselves, I still am unable to engage many of those members in chat when we’re both online. But rather than feel rejection, I snort to myself and figure they haven’t the technological savvy to know how to chat. And then create a mental image of said unresponsive person looking all over the place when they hear that annoying bubble popping sound that emerges when someone sends a chat message. What can I say, not everyone is a clicker on the computer. And there’s something gratifying in looking at everyone’s pictures – seeing their homes, their families, how they’ve changed. And it’s entirely possible to do that without any worry of what they think of how you’ve changed – or how they may be judging you. And since the people that I tend to be judging never respond to chat requests….well live and let live I suppose.
I suppose facebook is sort of like participating in your own virtual reality show – the real housewives of facebook or it’s equivalent. And the little blurbs are like the video diaries that everyone must complete. And it’s interesting to see how everyone deals with the status changes. My nephew pops in and puts up random music lyrics. Makes him seem philosophical somehow – which is redeeming because he doesn’t seem philosophical in person. I use mine to send out one liner comments that I hope are humorous … sort of like random thoughts from SNL. And then there are the few who send out cryptic messages about frustration or gossip without committing to the event at all. And of course, I don’t know them well enough to be in the gossip loop…but now I know enough to ask someone who might know.
And then there’s the friend’s list. Those who have added as friends every person they have ever known, some they don’t, or anyone who makes a friend request. I’m not that person. I only add people that I know, have fond memories of, or want to know more about. And in that, it’s symbolic of my entire existence. I have always been a person who would prefer to lean against the wall and watch without participating. And in facebook, I get to stack the party room so to speak and watch who I want to watch. I used to think that I wanted someone to invite me in to the room to be an active participant, but now, I’m not so sure. I don’t do well in social situations with people. I much prefer to sit with a small group and chatter (though if I were in an egotistical mode, I’d say hold court) – and my slowly increasing friends list portrays that aspect of my personality. But others, they are the party people – hooking up 200 friends in 48 hours – and then chatting briefly with a few – the social equivalent of working the room.
Facebook has definitely opened up the whole concept of texting to my generation. We may not understand or appreciate 10 teenagers sitting next to each other – talking to each other while staring at their phones and texting 20 other people at the same time. But facebook lets us know that if it were 25 years ago, we’d be doing the same thing if the technology were available. And with such games as mafia wars, or Farmville, it even addresses the socialization needs of those nerdy boys who were creating their own realms of dungeon and dragons that followed them from class to class in high school. In fact, I was at a friends house the other night and her husband had a 30 minute conversation with his brother, via telephone, about what he needed to get in terms of money laundering and getting rid of competition. If I were a police officer I might have been concerned… And I am no different, checking onto my page every so often to see if someone has left me a message, to see if anyone is one who I’d like to chat with (and damn those people who stay logged on 24/7 without actually doing anything).
So, I won’t say it’s an addiction. I will say it satisfies many needs. The need to keep in contact without actually having to put forth the effort of a visit or a phone call or an email. It satisfies my biannual nostalgia fest when I feel compelled to try to find people that I once knew and cared about. And it gives me an audience for these little mental notes that I make for myself but share with others (Doogie H. of course apparently being my unknown childhood role model).
