Well, first I must say that there should be a general thank you in Franklin's direction, as if it weren't for him I would not be conflicted enough to write. But he does exist and conflict he does create. so here we go.
There is a reason why kids go off to college. Sure, as a parent of young children you think to yourself that you don't want your kids to go. 18 is still so young. What will they get into; what dangers lurk behind the guise of friendly faces waiting to draw them down the path of self destruction. And the reason parents of young children think that is because they have young children. What you don't realize is that when your child reaches the age of maturity, they also approach the age of, hmmm...what shall I call it...? assholedom comes to mind, but that might just be for boys...maybe there's a bitchiland for girls. The fact of the matter is most individuals from the age of 18 to 24 can't think about anything or anyone else but themselves. They are in fact the center of their own universe and no other universe even exists or matters. And as a parent, you will try to remember being such an insensitive, selfish, jerk but you won't remember anything like that. You will think to yourself that you were pretty good. You will say that you did what your parents asked you to do, even when you didn't like it. And why can't your child be just like you were. Well they probably are. You just were so centered on your own personal life and happiness that you didn't register, as even the tiniest blip on your radar, that your parents were pulling their hair out in frustration over the idiotic, stupid, crazy, dangerous, life altering choices that you were making. And it was easier for you to be unaware of said parental angst, because most likely you lived in a college dorm and your parents didn't see you on daily basis...to which i say to you count your lucky stars.
Franklin is not lucky enough to be able to live on campus. It costs $500 a month to live in the dorm. And being the overtly frugal person that i am, I can not justify spending as much for a communal bathroom and 1/2 bedroom as I spend on my house payment each month. It simply makes no sense whatsoever. And since Franklin, god's gift to the universe, didn't apply himself to his fullest potential, he does not have any governmental funds coming his way to make campus life a reality. Needless to say that these past two years have been a bit challenging. Strike that, this last year has been challenging. The first year, he was still stuck firmly in high school at college mode and kind of holding his own. But then, he met A GIRL. Enter the teenage change. Apparently, meeting a girl who will let you see her naked makes studying next to impossible. Which makes sense if the jokes they make about blood moving to the penis and not to the head is true. I would imagine that it's probably difficult to study in the state of 19 year old semi-arousal. (Let me note that know for a fact that she didn't have any difficulty studying and kept her grades up, which may indicate something about Franklin's skills...just saying if heredity plays any role whatsoever, there will be some direct instruction going on). And so with the arrival of said girl, the need to go out and stay out become an almost constant. And when that resulted in brief foray into cohabitation that then resulted in arriving back home with his tail between his legs, I figured it was a lesson learned. When it was accompanied by failing grades, well, it was a very expensive lesson, learned. But alas, no. It would appear that the draw of a 19 year old vagina far outweighs rational thought, or really irrational thought, let alone forethought, and potentially afterthought. And the call of the wild hit again, and the same mistakes were made, just as shoddily. I mean seriously, the first time it was "I fell asleep and when I woke up it was 4 a.m." which is a half-hearted lie at best because mom's know that teenagers never wake up spontaneously at 4 a.m. They are either going to bed at that time, or crawling from the bathroom to their room. They don't wake up at that time. And this last excuse, "I'm too tired to drive home. I'm just gonna sleep here and be home in the morning." To which I say, Kudos to the casual tone of the text, delivered a mere 3 hours after everyone here has fallen asleep. And a little bitterness that we're not even worth a brand new excuse, but just a variation of the previous. Not that I'm suprised, as Franklin has demonstrated time and again, he'll find the easy way and stay with it...til...well, I've not seen him change this behavior yet, so I don't actually know how long it will last. So, after a few hours of fuming, ranting, raving... it was decided that with such freedom comes rent. Yes, I know that I did things that my parents wouldn't approve of. I stayed out all night. I got drunk. I experimented with all manner of things. But my parents didn't know. And I for sure wasn't doing it in my parent's house, unless they were somehow involved. And I didn't ask them to pay my way as I blew my money of frivolous perishible entertainment. I had hoped that perhaps that Franklin would find a way to get his own place, move out, and take the next step that he so desperately wants to take. But, staying was easier, and what did I say about Franklin, but he's a rut finder. So, he has taken advantage of paying rent, and spends 5 out of 7 nights out, somewhere. Which drives Jose totally out of his mind. And paying rent apparently doesn't stop you from getting a 1 hour in spanish chat an hour before you have to get up and go to class. What can I say, he's really getting a discounted rate.
And what does all of it mean? It means that I push the boys to get really good grades so they can live on campus when they are older. Because though I acknowledge the teenage need for freedom. The desire to grow as a person and make your own choices and decisions. I strongly advocate not having to witness the assinine nature of those choices. I don't want to know, unless you have to have a shot in your penis, at which point i want to know and post on facebook. I'm not sure that you can truly be friends with your children at this point, yet. They still need a parent, but an absentee parent. Someone to ask the right questions, and to call and check that the important things are being taken care of. I suppose for them it's about like having your cake and eating it to. But when they live at home, well, they are still 10 and will be treated as such. Course, to be fair, they still act like they're 10 when they come home (not cleaning up after themselves, unable to use a microwave, oven, stove, dishwasher, washing machine, vacuum, broom, sponge, etc.) They just can't grow up all the way until they leave. And the longer they stay, then the longer the battle between us. So, seriously, as soon as you can, when you know they won't end up on the street, give them the boot. Because until they leave, you can never move to the next phase of your relationship...the one where they buy you dinner instead.
