I'm about 99% certain that I've written about this before - but here we go again -- I haven't posted in a while and I'm sure my readers are getting anxious. Christmas and Santa and the obligation of the parent. My brother had offered to buy Elijah the GraveDigger monster truck for christmas - and at first, I thought, wonderful - Elijah will be able to get this toy that he really wants, and I won't have to worry about ruined christmas dreams. But then, this prideful animal inside of me comes forth and says - now Uncle Jason will be giving Elijah a better present that Santa can give - better than you can give (which matters when Elijah's older and realizes that Santa is not exactly delivering the gifts) -- so here I am, not liking the idea of my gift coming in second place -- which can only occur after the anxiety of making sure that the gift is actually going to be coming has been set aside. So, now I feel the need to compete with my brother's generosity - and I can't -- there's no way that I can compete with that - I don't have that kind of money - it's just not possible - but i want to have it - I want to be the one to give the best gift to my son - and in the long run - i don't think that Elijah is going to really care. I'm pretty sure that Jason doesn't care - but I worry about his money issues - but then he wouldn't offer to buy it if he couldn't afford it -- or if he didn't have the money on hand -- that's not the same thing as affording it - because i think he often purchases things he can't afford.
Anyway, that's my dilemma - and I think that I'm going to handle it by letting Jason pay for the gift and being very grateful. and taking the money that we "saved" and getting elijah and isaiah something else -- and letting go of my own issues --
