Finding Beauty
As many of you know, I’ve been having a bit of trauma at work. Joel, at work, keeps telling me to focus on the positive. A weak coaching thing that only elicits the response that I’m positive that work sucks eggs. And I was sending an email to a friend of mine, the old director of my school, and told her that I was actually contemplating wearing make up again just to feel good about getting up and going to work. Make-up, ya’ll! I haven’t worn or owned make up since I was in college almost 20 years ago. And the few times that I’ve been bored at home and piddled with a little lipstick the shocked stares that I got from my boys promptly made me put it away again. But, since I’ve been so much time each day shaking my head, biting my tongue and just trying to ignore the break down of order as I know it (I mean really, why have rules if you aren’t going to enforce them… truly), I thought I needed to take a positive moment break – to look around and find some beauty in my life. So here is my humble attempt.
1. The sight of Elijah and Isaiah piled up on the couch or in the chair watching television together. It’s just a nice quiet moment of male bonding.
2. The look on Isaiah’s face when he sees Elijah walking down the hallway on the way out of school. He smiles so big and is so happy to see Elijah every day – who needs a puppy for that. And Elijah is always as happy to see him at the end of the hall too. The first day of school, Isaiah got down and ran (yes ran) up to Elijah and gave him a hug (something that the little bugger has never done for me).
3. Jose. Every day when his truck pulls up at the school, I am still excited to see him. Now often that excitement is quashed when he opens his mouth to complain about something – which is just his way of discussing anything (he sees the bad – never hopes for the good – so frustrating). But the first time I see him in the afternoon, I’m always happy to see him – that’s a good sign I think.
4. The bright orange of the sun through the misty fields in the morning.
5. The glee in Isaiah’s face when he blows on Elijah’s or Jose’s belly.
6. the sound of both my boys laughing out loud – belly laughter is the best thing ever.
7. sleeping children early enough in the evening that I can watch any adult, non-cartoon show that I want to watch (happy sigh).
8. Extra money in my checking account two days before payday – enough to spend on something totally frivolous – you know like underwear or a cheap pair of shoes (for me there are no other kind)
9. waking up in the morning and seeing that it’s past 7:00 a.m.
10. Elijah and Isaiah dancing – or Isaiah spinning until he makes himself so dizzy that he falls down.
O.k. now, I’m at the point that I’m having to think too hard. I’m sure I’ll have to do this more than once in the next few weeks / months. But it does make you feel a bit better
