Well, it’s official. Elijah is no longer my little baby – I look at him each day and it becomes easier and easier to see him as a teenager. And it’s such a combination of strange emotions. There’s a part that’s sad for the time that has passed, never to return. And my heartfelt desire to hold on to those moments; remember them; so that I can share them again later. But so many moments come and go without my even being aware of them. And there are even more for which I’m unprepared – those are the moments in which I say to myself, man I wish I had my camera.
Last week, when Elijah finally to be his classroom’s superman for the day. I was waiting for him outside. I looked up and here he came, barreling down on me, hands in the air, a smile beaming from his face. And I wish that I had known – so that I could have had my camera at the ready to capture that look of pride and happiness on his face. I did have my little camera and grabbed a picture – but the real moment was gone.
And having these thoughts with Elijah, makes me ever more conscious of Isaiah’s passing moments. Especially as he’s beginning to become a real person. Today he figured out how to flush the toilet. His first reaction was startled. But he got over that pretty quick and went back for more. He’s learned how to blow raspberries on Jose’s and Elijah’s belly. And it’s so funny. He also tries to give Jose a ride on his shoulders – by putting his head between his legs and walking around. So many things I want to remember, and I’m going to just have to live with my camera in my hand – something that I haven’t been doing of late.
The same will be true for Elijah. Though starting school will make his days seem more and more like the last and time will begin to pass more quickly for him, he’s going to change so much this next year, and the next and the next. Though no matter how much he changes, or how old he gets, I sure hope that I will always see in him that same little boy who ran out of school on Wednesday in a Superman costume and stuck a pose.
