There are people in this world who love to have people come to their house. And when they have company, they have themed serving dishes, matching plates and dinnerware. They are capable of making their table look as if it could appear in a food magazine.I am not one of those people. My idea of matching dinnerware is paper or Styrofoam plates (they do match and I have a full place setting for 100 guests), plastic cups, plastic silverware, and paper towel napkins. The only serving dish I have is a glass cake stand that can be flipped over to serve dip and veggies, chips or fruit (maybe cheese and crackers). Every meal that I have served in my house to company has been a serve yourself buffet type of meal – and as I have an eat in kitchen it’s really the way to go. I do not have a formal dining room. I don’t even have one of those look but don’t touch rooms. As every piece of furniture in my room was free or cost less than $100 (which was what we spent on a used 3 piece living room suit that someone was just going to donate to good will), then I have no qualms about messes, spills, or eating in the living room. I defend this style by saying it really is a matter of personality. It’s easy, there is little clean up, and it gives everyone a chance to visit in comfort – no pressure about table manners at my house.
The problem is that deep inside of me resides my Aunt Martha – or probably My Aunt Martha’s mama (whom my mother called Big Mama). And that part of me feels like such a casual approach to a dinner party is entirely inappropriate. Guests should not be sitting on a couch, hovering over the coffee table. I should purchase a small card table (2 or 3 if necessary) and allow them to eat at a table like civilized folks. I should have nice dinnerware, glassware, and silverware that lets the guests know that I am honored to have them in my home. And in my defense with this issue, I have purchased plastic plates and glasses that match from the Dollar Store when I’ve had some guests over for a summer BBQ (on clearance, each plate was 25 cents – a bargain I thought, so I got 12). There should be linen tablecloths and napkins. Place cards are really not necessary but would be a nice touch. If a buffet style was called for, then all food items should be placed on the side board, not on the kitchen counter. And the kitchen should be closed off, if possible from company view so as not to display the cooking mess that was the result of the feast that has been prepared. If it is not possible to hide the kitchen area, then all dishes must be cleaned after they have been spooned artfully into serving dishes – that also match the dinnerware, or have a holiday theme.
That is the demon that I face when people come to my house. And though I never succumb to the feeding said demon, I am forever more wondering if those who come to my house are somehow judging – and then letting it go as “she doesn’t care about those things.” And I do care, just not enough to do anything about it. Fine dinnerware and serving dishes falls into that category of – not going to spend my money on it – frivolous. Because nothing will ruin my appetite more than thinking that the bowl that the mashed potatoes are in cost $60 – for a bowl – that looks like the bowl I saw at Fred’s for $1.50. Why do you spend $60 on a bowl? And a gravy boat – really –
In the end, if my Aunt Martha was going to infect me with the desire to have proper dinner parties (proper by southern lady definition) then perhaps she should have also infected me with the belief that spending large amounts of money on such items was worthwhile. Though, I’m sure her answer to that was that you buy quality and take care of it. But really, I’d rather go to the movies, or do something that would create a memory. And my self talk argument to that is those proper dinner parties at Christmas, in which my brother, sister and I were relegated to the basement to play ping pong until dinner was served and we had to sit in the kitchen at the little table forever as we were the youngest in the family – created a tradition and an expectation that is with me to this day – thus the blog in the first place I guess. I’m just not grown up enough yet to have those parties and those things and to care about it. And to be truthful, I’m not sure if I ever want to be.
