I don’t know how many of you shop at Walmart – it’s my version of the Mall. But Walmart, especially the new and improved SUPER Wal-marts have lots and lots of handicapped parking places.
Now the Western Student in my often approaches parking at Walmart like I used to approach finding a parking place on campus. Sure there’s a dozen spots on the back of Diddle lot, but really, who wants to carry all their crap out that far. And Amy doesn’t make second trips for anything – it’s waste of time. So, I used to spend a fair amount of time trolling the parking lot waiting for the best space. Later, when I started to go to the gym, I would have to actively fight the urge to find a close space and instead approach the walk as free exercise. I mean if I’m going to pay a monthly fee to exercise, then I might as well park in the back half of the lot at Walmart, that’s at least ½ a mile right there. And when I had children, my idea of an ideal spot is the one next to the buggy return. That way, I don’t have to carry any children into the store and no one will be able to steal my precious babies from my car as I return the cart to the cart return like they do on television to all those nice white trash ladies who usually end up in jail later.
What’s the point – where are we going with this? Well, it has occurred to me, on more than one occasion that our moral code about not parking in handicapped spots at Walmart have some carry over in the most unusual places. Or perhaps, I’m the only one. I don’t park in a handicapped spot. I know that it only says tow-away zone – and those of you who know me, know that a $60 towing fine is more than punishment enough to keep me from using the prime parking space. But somewhere down the line in the development of my moral compass, I have it in my mind that parking in a handicapped parking place is against the law. I mean, go to jail, pay a stiff fine, do not pass go, do not collect $200 – AGAINST THE LAW. I don’t know for sure that is or isn’t. I’m sure it may be some sort of traffic violation. But that’s really neither here nor there right now.
The strange thing is that I have, for a very long time, felt the same way about the handicapped stall in the restrooms. I don’t know if they have handicapped stalls in men’ restrooms – I imagine they must though I can’t really get my head around that one – but in women’s restrooms, the handicapped stalls are the largest stalls. They are also the ones that always have the baby changing station. And if it weren’t for that combo, I would never have begun to use the handicapped stall on a regular basis. Until Elijah as born, I believed that the handicapped stalls were against the law for someone who wasn’t handicapped to use. I don’t think it was a conscious sort of belief, but it still lay there and was an integral part of how I chose a bathroom stall. But I don’t think I’m the only one. I was at a professional conference on Friday and the handicapped stalls were the ones that were the last to be taken each time. Which worked well for me as it meant no waiting. But that’s when it occurred to me – other people don’t think they are supposed to use the handicapped stall either. And that was quickly followed by the thought – well, who says someone in a wheelchair doesn’t have to wait in line just like the rest of us. Though to be perfectly honest with you and myself, that last thought was more like preparing an argument should someone confront me with my use of said handicapped stall. It’s always good to walk into confrontational situations a bit prepared.
And really, it shouldn’t be any big deal. The handicapped stalls are much nicer than the other stalls. They are bigger with room to maneuver. They are definitely more convenient when you have guests in the bathroom with you. Trying to pee with two children in the stall with you is really the newest form of American torture. (in fact, I’m quite convinced that if I could record the sound of my children whining, it could be played to political prisoners for a remarkably short time and they would be spilling their guts just to get a reprieve – already, I have no secrets). But despite the larger space and the convenience of almost always being free, I feel a bit defiant every time I walk into the stall. I tense up like someone is going to say, hey where’s your handicapped card that lets you pee in that stall!!! What is that – exactly? Ultimately, it’s just a good thing that I have learned through my life long speed peeing competition with Jason to get in and out quick - because should someone ever confront me, I’ll be doomed to the tiny stalls once more.
