Alright, it's true. I am obviously vain enough to have my own blog - hiding behind my aspirations to be discovered and have someone come to me willy nilly and say - wow I love what you write, please, please let us publish your work - oh and here's an advance for $250,000. Sigh, I get happy just thinking about it really.
The reality is that I create some random posting - hurl it into cyberspace - and then hope that someone will read it. And occassionally, I will get a response - and I feel validated somehow. Now, not all entries are really response worthy - I am aware of that - because this blog does double duty - it is my correspondence with friends and family as well as a sounding board. And I also realize that it can be a pain to respond - with the request to sign up and become a member of the google-cult. So many people choose to respond anonymously (sp).
And now we enter into the perverse aspect of my nature. The "oh my god, is nothing good enough for you" part of me -- which I shall whole heartedly blame on Jose as he is often stuck in the look only at the negative aspect of reality. My joy at receiving a response to a post is always - but always overshadowed by the intense mystery of the anonymous poster. What do you mean what's "what comes from the heart, touches the heart. " -- from a post that I think I wrote like 4 months ago -- how totally random is that? Is it someone that I know? Is it someone who stumbled across the blog on a random search - how does that happen - almost all of my random searches end up with foreign blogs (though I've gotten a reponse from a foreigner as well - which was kind of cool). But because it is against my nature to let a sleeping dog lie - I kind of view someone's response as an invitation to conversation. And just flinging a little comment out there isn't enough -- I want to know who you are - what you mean, what do you do for a living, where do you live (have I mentioned before that I tend to get obsessive).
It's not much different than when I was in school and I'd miss 3 points on a 50 point essay and the professor would write good job. Well if it was a good job whey did I lose 3 points - what was wrong with it, how can I fix it.
The other part is a bit of the Mike Rowe, Dirty Job request. In that a good comment could foster another inspiration. (this blog being case in point)
So anyway - let me beg, plead with those random few people in the world who accidentally read this thing - as well as my family (who will all now want to respond anonymously just for spite) and my friends (who will want to do the same - except for Jenny who will just laugh and sign her name anyway) -- please tell me who you are when you respond - even if I don't know who you are. It will make me feel better at least.
