A moment in time

I don't know about the rest of you, but there are moments in time where I stop and think "remember this moment. remember it. remember it." And I know that it will be gone and fleeting before too long. I think that that is why I take so many pictures and make movies - because there are so many times that I am looking out and I see a smile, a glimpse, something and it strikes me that time is so fleeting - it will pass us by and before I know it - Elijah will be lumbering out the door to college. Isaiah will finally be taller than I am. And they will be running away - to a new life - not just to chase after some bug, to reach some toy. They will be running forward and not looking back. Perhaps those aquarian aspects of my zodiac are coming to the forefront - that standing back and seeing the big picture. No longer do I operate under the firmly held belief that my life is life eternal - but there is indeed a wall at the end, a final act. And in your twenties it is easy to say, I would be content to die tomorrow. I have lived a life that I am proud of, I have no regrets. Having children adds an urgency to your life - or at least to mine. I know that I am mortal and I there are things I want to see before I go. I want to see my children graduate from college (i would settle for other forms of training -- but I'd really like to see them as college graduates and preferably at the top of their class, thank you very much). I would like to see them if not married, then in the company of someone they love deeply and are content with (if it falls apart after my death, then that's fine with me). I would like to see them as fathers - good fathers - and trying to create life experiences for their children as I have tried to do for them. A few weeks ago we found a creek. Well, we didn't find it really - there are a multitude of people who know that it was there, but I didn't. And it's a lovely creek. It has all the great creek features (small fish, a few deep spots, cold water, a tarzan swing) without all the weeds and general snake feel that most creeks have. So, we took the boys (and Riley, Elijah's friend) and went to hang out a bit. And as I sat in my soccer chair, with my feet dangling in the water, I had moment after moment of "remember this" -- and because I'm not really like anyone in my family and actually had a camera with video -- I took pictures and video and can remember it -- and for that I am grateful - for the moment, and for the ability to freeze it, revisit it and remember it - forever.