On Exercise
Alright, here we go. I’ve decided that with diabetes and well about 125 extra pounds, sitting on the couch and using my fingers to change channels isn’t really going to do me much good. So, today, I started my exercise regime. Rest assured, it’s nothing exciting. I’m just going to be going from walking trail to walking trail and walking – and I’m only walking for 20 minutes – by god they say 20 minutes, 3 times a week is all you need and I’m holding them to it. But, for those of you who don’t remember the sheer joy of this endeavor, I thought I’d recount the experience from today to refresh your memory.
The tale must begin with this morning when I had to make a conscious decision to put my shoes in my backpack. The debate was, could I and would I walk with my regular shoes. And the answer is by 2:30 in the afternoon I would use the shoes as an excuse not to walk. So I passed the first hurdle.
I put the idea of actually moving from my mind during the school day. Why suffer through the walk all day long. It wasn’t something that I wanted to do, and after having finished it, it’s still something that I don’t want to do. At the end of the day, I met Jose, per the norm, at the Junior high school – still not sure if I was going to make it to the park. But then, I took a decisive step in the program. I told Elijah that we were going to the little park. At which point he was pretty happy, hoping that there would be someone there with whom he could play. As it was a dreary day, I didn’t dash his hopes. Then, we had to get gasoline. I even used the restroom at the gas station so I couldn’t use the I have to pee as an excuse not to stop.
We got to the park, and I decided that shoot, why not make everyone miserable and I challenged Elijah to a race. He’s a bit pudgy and it couldn’t hurt to get him involved too. So he immediately started to jog. O.K. I thought, a little jog, that would be good. No, imagine if you will a narwhal dressed in khaki pants and black snowflake jacket hobbling semi-quickly across the yard and you have a decent image. You know, fat makes a weird smacking sound when you run – it’s sort of like that pornographic sex smacking sound – nice image huh – And I made it almost 1/10th of a mile before I felt that I’d better stop that because I’d most likely have a heart attack and I didn’t have my cell phone and if I were to have a heart attack there was no way that I could send Elijah to get help – and really was that the sort of memory that I wanted to create for my son anyway. So I slowed down. It took a good 4/10ths of a mile before I was able to breath normally again. But I can guarantee that I got my heart rate going and all of the rest of my mile counted as exercise for sure. Elijah walked the first ½ mile – the ½ mile in which I was deciding whether or not ½ a mile is good enough for a first attempt. ½ mile is good – yeah, it’s really good, it’s the effort that counts – that’s all. I came, and I walked. ½ mile was enough for today. I’d work my way up. But then when I finished the ½ mile and looked at my watch, it was only 10 minutes – damn that speed at the beginning – now I have to walk 10 more minutes, might as well finish the damn mile. So, I did. And had to bribe Elijah with another park so that I wouldn’t have to go and push him on the swing. And to be fair, Isaiah was offering encouragement the entire way. Just singing me on to completion – though I strongly suspect that, like Elijah, he likes to sing on bumpy roads because he likes the way it makes his voice vibrate.
Now, I’m sure you’re thinking that at least I had a strong sense of achievement when I was finished – the I did it and I’m proud sort of response. And the answer would be … umm no. I immediately began to think about whether I needed to do this every day, or would every other day be enough. Really, I only need 3 times a week, does it really matter which three times it is? Really?
So, here I am, a little achy – drinking my sugar free coffee and praying the kids fall to sleep really early – and purposely not thinking about what I’ll do tomorrow. Though, my blood sugar was 104 – which is good for me – and lord knows that walking and exercising in general will help with watching my food – because by god I’m not walking to work off some damn cupcake – no way – maybe some chocolate fudge caramel syrup on ice cream with pecans – on a special occasion – would that cancel out 2 miles or 3?
And by the by – to any and all who are reading this – you may join me in anxiously anticipating the first blog of Ms. Ashlee Perdue at her blog totally random – www.ashleeperdue.blogspot.com
