The Art of Making Memories

The Art of Memory Making

My friend Mary and I were carving pumpkins yesterday evening at her house.  And at the end of the exciting session, she told me that she had never carved pumpkins before.  I don’t remember much pumpkin carving myself – but then I lived so far out in the country that Halloween was largely a wasted holiday as there was no where to trick or treat.  It’s just never been my holiday.  Elijah has just begin trick or treating last year.  And this year, with the help of the pumpkin carving tools (and let me tell you they are worth the purchase) he carved his first pumpkin alone.  Though it did require peer pressure from Katie to get his hand inside the pumpkin to clear out all the seeds.

Anyway . . . before I ramble on too much, the comment that struck was about creating memories.  My friend Ashlee talks often about how she doesn’t really have any memories from her childhood that stand out – her parents lived life close to home, I guess.  But I get from her that it was something that she regrets – despite her lack of control over it.  

My own childhood experiences are vast and full.  In part, I think that is because my mom moved a lot.  Not every 3 months after first and last month rent plus deposit ran out kind of moving.  But she was on a quest to find herself and felt that she had to do that in different places.  And because we were her extra baggage, we got to go along on her quest.  So, if I look at my childhood and wish for some things, I could never, ever wish that we had done more things, or that I had seen more stuff.  Let me give you a run down on my childhood memories.

1. I remember seeing my brother drink, what I thought was pee out of a sprite bottle.  My mom often led us to believe untruths for her own amusement (I’m guilty of the same myself) so I don’t think it was pee – mostly because I’m pretty sure that Jason (who was younger than 2 at the time) would not have so greedily consumed the beverage.


2. I remember going to the Elephant Rocks in Missouri.  These huge, massive stones that are balanced on other huge rocks.  


3. I remember going to Springfield, Mo. On the weekend to see a movie.  We would go into Ventures (who’s store sign had black and white stripes) and they would give you a free cookie.  And in the mall we would get bread, cheese and pepperoni from some store and eat it.


4. I remember playing in the room set-ups they had at the department store and getting lost every time we went.


5. I remember going to New York to visit my Aunt Betty and climbing to the top of the World Trade Towers and Robin hanging over to get a shot of the road.  I remember climbing the statue of Liberty and how nice the breeze felt through her crown (as the torch was closed) on the hottest day in recorded history in New York (it was 120 degrees inside) and Jacqui passing up tissues to everyone who wanted to wipe their faces.  I remember seeing the dinosaur bones and shark jaw at the Museum of Natural History


6. I remember going to Carmel and Monterey and seeing the tidal pools and being afraid to touch the sea anemone because they would sting me to death


7. I remember getting horses ready to ride – and ponies being stubborn – and getting thrown of my horse onto a pine tree.


8. I remember being chased by goats, cows and geese on my mom’s dream farm.  I especially remember the white rooster who’s greatest joy was to stalk the front door in wait for the school bus so that he could chase and flog us all the way.  Ironically, every rooster I’ve encountered since then has treated me the same way – but I feel much less guilty about having him turned into soup.


9. I remember the wharf at San Fransisco and the crooked street in the world.  I remember riding the cable car from the wharf into the city amazed at how short the line was only to discover that the other end of the line had about an hour wait and my mom making us walk all the way back – I remember the hills in San Fransisco being really big.


10. I remember going to the creek and catching cray fish.


11. I remember swimming in the pond in the summer and skating on it in the winter.


12. I remember driving from Missouri to Kentucky to visit grandparents and stopping at the something Springs restaurant and that being the highlight of my trip.


13. I remember telling my grandmother that painting the fence looked like fun, and when the fun was over she made us finish (and redo) until it was right – so I never commented on such things again.


14. I remember being at my grandmother’s house when she moved the couch to clean behind it and found all the dr. pepper bottles that we had hidden there in order to get by the one soda a day rule at her house.


15. I remember stealing cigarettes from my Aunt Linda’s purse with Michelle and Angie (my cousins) and smoking them in the wash house – and getting caught by my dad as we walked in the house – he told us we would pee in our bed at night.

You get the general idea.  If she did nothing else, my mom created experiences for us.  Gave us the opportunity to explore.  And it is a tradition I really enjoy creating for my own children.  Now, don’t get me wrong,  we still call them a fucking family outing  (FFO)– and sometimes they are.  I know that getting everything packed, in the car and ready to go makes the possibility of a good time seem remote from the onset, but the new experience of it is amazing.  There is little that I enjoy more than seeing Elijah see something for the first time.  And I am sometimes disappointed when he looks at something with a bit of indifference and moves forward uncaring – it’s that look into the teenage years – which is actually when the FFO term emerged (I like to think that it was my phrase – but I’m pretty sure it was my mother’s slightly post-pubescent girlfriend’s – and being in her presence for any length of time was definitely a FF-something or another).  So, I look at those houses that are decorated to the nines for holidays and wish that I was interested in those sort of things – but I’m not.  But I will take my son to get a pumpkin and teach him how to carve it.  I will take him out around town to see and do stuff – and if it’s free then so much the better.  Shoot, we go see Santa like 5 times – just to visit and check on him and to chat.  Our next FFO is going to be to Gaitlinburg.  We’re going to that aquarium and dinosaur place they have there – it’s just a shame that money and intent don’t always go hand in hand.

So, here’s to creating your own family memories and traditions – and to retelling those stories and creating a way to make them become memories for all time – because that is your legacy – your immortality.