Borrowing Trouble
A friend of mine has recently been struggling with anger issues. In that she’s really pissed off at a coworker and she loves that feeling of hate and anger. She loves it so much that she almost searches actively for new reasons to be angry at this person. Now, I have to agree that the “victim” makes anger really easy. She’s one of the most annoying humans that I’ve ever met. Actually, she really should be an 80 year old grandma at a church outing. She’s just got that sort of personality. She likes to read over your shoulder when you are writing or reading email. She likes to talk to you even if it looks like you are doing 5 other things. She patiently waits to eavesdrop on your telephone conversation when you thought you were saved by the ring before continuing her conversation about something that you generally have no interest in. I have personally spent a lot of time trying to figure out why her conversations are so wholly disinteresting. I think about the types of things that I talk about – and know that they aren’t so very interesting – and usually end up with the belief that my delivery must be better – and I change the topic with some frequency. She has this annoying way of raising her voice and talking in a sing-song baby talk sort of way when she things she’s being funny – it truly is annoying. But my friend – you can see her begin to seethe and fume as the conversation continues. I personally have found no small amount of joy in finding ways to force the two into conversational situations – for no other reason that I know that my friend finds it so totally frustrating.
Anyway… back to the point. I don’t really understand why people choose to hold on to these small annoying things to get angry over. I was listening to bob and sheri this morning and Bob was just going on and on about how he feels that the people with 20 items in the 15 item line should be shot – how dare they. Or the people who wait until the lane closes before trying to get over into the single lane of traffic that is still open. How dare they! Who do they think they are? And all I could think about was – is this really what you chose to get so angry about? I mean seriously, what’s the point? Maybe it’s the Celestine Prophecy part of me that just sees it as wasted energy – or giving another power over my life when they really don’t deserve it. I’m not saying that those things aren’t annoying – if I’m in a hurry – or somehow something breaks down and the whole line / lane is moving at a crawl. But my goodness – is it really so difficult to try to find a brighter side. Of course I might be so happy about the whole thing because I have been the 20 in 15 person – and have you seen how much faster the cars in the lane that’s about to close move – they end up through the line much much faster – But that time in line could also be used for mental reflection – a time to space out. Shoot as a mommy, if I’m in line alone – whether at the grocery or in the car – I relish that quiet time alone to just let my mind wander – to listen to the radio – to pick my nose if I’m of a mind without having to tell Elijah that it’s bad manners –
I just don’t understand why people would lose their temper over that small situation. The only conclusion that I can come to is that those people are unhappy in some way anyway. That they are using these situations to dishonestly vent about their unhappiness in a way they feel is more acceptable. But ultimately they aren’t facing the true cause of their unhappiness. And I really like that answer better – because I feel that I’m a happy person. I’m quite content with my life, my job, my friends and family. I have enough money to be frivolous on occasion – though I wouldn’t cry if I had more money – though I know Jose would make me use it to pay off some bill or the other. But I don’t really have the need to vent my anger and frustration in my life at strangers who aren’t doing what I want them to do. However, I’m thankful I guess to those people, because without them, I wouldn’t be able to look at my life and be grateful, joyful, happy, content with my life. They help me realize how lucky I am.
