After sitting poolside for while, watching families digitally capture memories, I’ve learned that there are distinct camera poses. I don’t mean the go from big to little, or stagger, or let’s get the family pose – tilt your head sort of stuff. I mean the gestures that we each unconsciously make when we are about to get our picture taken.
The peace sign – this is one of the more popular poses for photos. In some essence the subject is saying – see, I’m o.k. with having my picture taken – there’s no hardship there – it’s all good. The peace sign encompasses all age groups and all genders – though to be perfectly honest, I’m quite sure I’ve never seen any senior citizen spontaneously give a peace sign just prior to the shutter click – that doesn’t mean that it hasn’t happened - In general, the peace sign posers seem to be more carefree.
The “yo-poser” – This is a popular pose among the young – from the tweenies, to the teens, to twenty-something – and unfortunately with some 30 somethings as well. Chances are if you have a my space page – you have a picture somewhere with this pose. Typically this pose consists of the subject moving their hands in what can only be described as arthritic hand seizures. Ideally, they will have pulled their pants down below their hips so that it looks as if we’ve just walked in on them sitting on the pot and they are trying to get themselves decent – thank god their wife beater undershirt is long enough to cover most of their underwear – unless of course you’re a teenage boy and then you’ll be flashing your belly – My favorite yo-poser subjects are the 8 year old boys who can’t figure out what to do and end up looking more than a little goofy – as well as the yo-poser wearing the Stetson and the cowboy boots.
The last is obviously just trying for a more contemporary version of the “heavy metal.” This pose was the predecessor of the yo-poser and most often by late 20-something to some 50-somethings. This pose is most often spotted at parties, where alcohol, and lots of it – have been served. The pose consists of one hand being raised close to the head – any combination of the thumb and 2 fingers will be raised and more often than not the tongue will be extended from an open mouth grimace. Invariably there will be an appearance in said photo of the alcoholic beverage being served.
The supermodel surprise is the favorite pose of those select few who love to have their picture taken. Their eagle eye is trained to spot a camera in the room. And they will invariable give each picture take the head tilt, open mouth, tooth showing smile as if to say – “me? You want to take my picture.” Most likely these are the people who will grow up to work in sales, politics or some branch of the service industry. Those who choose this pose, tend to sit with their gal pals (and usually they are gals unless they are gay), take photos in groups of two or three – hands or arms are always interlocked and permanent markers or photo markers will be used on the final print to document the the time they spent with their B.F.F.
The Tongue – this is my personal photo pose of choice. And I have seen others resort to this pose as well. It is the more polite variation of the hand in front of the face pose that captures muttered profanity on paper so well. The tongue is the subjects way of saying I don’t want my picture taken, but I know there is no way that you will leave me alone until you take the picture – so I will stick my tongue out – and when this picture is so bad – as I knew it would be even if I tried one of the other poses – I can blame the suckiness of the picture on the fact that my tongue was out – Because, I’m sure we’ve all heard at least once in our lives – “oh that picture would have been so good, if only she didn’t stick out her tongue.”
I’m of little doubt that there are more standard poses out there – but these were the standard few that ran across my mind as I tried to crouch in the second row of chairs at the water park so that no one would see me and I could sit quietly alone for a few more minutes – but alas, it’s not to be – as I see my husband and Isaiah – who is still struggling with a fever (you’d think the chlorine content alone would have killed whatever bug he had) – coming at me and I must stop here.
