There are several things that I know that I want to talk about here - and I can't decide if I want to do it all at once or make several - so we'll just begin and see what happens.
I decided to attend my 20 year high school reunion at Trigg County. And it was an eye opening experience in many different levels. I suppose there were really 2 that mattered most to me.
The first was that Steven Sanders, upon seeing my arrival, took the time out to tell me that he was the person that he most wished would attend. I was totally and utterly shocked and overwhelmingly flattered. About 15 years ago, Steven, Jim and I had all returned to Cadiz with a bit of a hang-dog, tail between our legs oh my god what are we going to do with our lives sort of mentality. And somehow the fates transpired that the three of us ended up at Steven's house having one of those magical coffee house moments. Those moments when you meet someone new and explore the secrets of the universe on every level that you can imagine. I remember the conversation - and believe that I asked Jim and Steven then the same questions that I asked this weekend (fondest memory, the thing you would change about your high school experience, what aspect of your high school experience most influenced your life after) and from what I remember (though memories fade and alter through time) his answers remained much the same - and aren't really mine to disclose. I can share with you my own - My fondest memory is being back stage during Wizard of Oz - with Lean on Me music blaring in the library - it was perhaps one, if not the only, moment in high school that I felt at the time that I needed to remember forever - and I have. The other answers will be another blog - Anyway, I was so grateful and relieved that Steven (anyone) was there to say they were happy to see me. That meant a lot.
The second moment occurred not to long after and lays at the feet at Andrea Caylor, Christina Baker and Janet Harper. They made a point to tell me that they had read part of my blog and couldn't believe that I had felt that I didn't fit in when I was in so many clubs. And I had to take a step back from my self perception -- because for the past 20 years, my high school perception had been as self centered and black / white as i thought life was in high school. I spent my entire school career really moving on the fringes but not jumping in. I was in clubs and organizations for two reason: I enjoyed them, and I was building a college admissions resume. I started with Speech and Drama really was a natural step from there - standing and performing is standing and performing. And really, the people in those clubs were always a little nerdy / odd and I had things in common with them. It quite simply took me aback that in someone else's reality, I was part of a crowd or somebody. And such a realization is somewhat bitter sweet. What changes in my life would have occurred if I had known that 23 years ago? But it's also water under the bridge because I wouldn't change the past and sacrifice my present for anything in the world.
But to those people - (Shannon Simmons and Karina Phillips who echoed the sentiments at the runion the next day) - I thank you for the life lesson that you shared with me. There is little doubt in my mind that it was because of you and that comment that I was supposed to be there - that was the lesson that I needed to learn and the words that I needed to hear. I had thought that perhaps the reason that I was going was that this was a final chance - the last chance, the next chance - to fit in - to be the person that I wanted to be - or rather to be the person openly fawned over and adored by all and sundry. Which is an insane wish in and of itself - because I am not that person. I don't like to be the center of attention - I don't like to socialize or flit from place to place - of fill my schedule / calendar with a never ending list of gatherings. I'd much rather have a few good friends come over, have a nice meal, and sit and talk and laugh and create memories and links. So, any or each of you, please feel free to stop by - we'll chat.
And to Steven, thank you again for giving me the courage and the inspiration to attend both evenings. I had a really good time (in my sit in a corner and watch the world), learned so much.
I decided to attend my 20 year high school reunion at Trigg County. And it was an eye opening experience in many different levels. I suppose there were really 2 that mattered most to me.
The first was that Steven Sanders, upon seeing my arrival, took the time out to tell me that he was the person that he most wished would attend. I was totally and utterly shocked and overwhelmingly flattered. About 15 years ago, Steven, Jim and I had all returned to Cadiz with a bit of a hang-dog, tail between our legs oh my god what are we going to do with our lives sort of mentality. And somehow the fates transpired that the three of us ended up at Steven's house having one of those magical coffee house moments. Those moments when you meet someone new and explore the secrets of the universe on every level that you can imagine. I remember the conversation - and believe that I asked Jim and Steven then the same questions that I asked this weekend (fondest memory, the thing you would change about your high school experience, what aspect of your high school experience most influenced your life after) and from what I remember (though memories fade and alter through time) his answers remained much the same - and aren't really mine to disclose. I can share with you my own - My fondest memory is being back stage during Wizard of Oz - with Lean on Me music blaring in the library - it was perhaps one, if not the only, moment in high school that I felt at the time that I needed to remember forever - and I have. The other answers will be another blog - Anyway, I was so grateful and relieved that Steven (anyone) was there to say they were happy to see me. That meant a lot.
The second moment occurred not to long after and lays at the feet at Andrea Caylor, Christina Baker and Janet Harper. They made a point to tell me that they had read part of my blog and couldn't believe that I had felt that I didn't fit in when I was in so many clubs. And I had to take a step back from my self perception -- because for the past 20 years, my high school perception had been as self centered and black / white as i thought life was in high school. I spent my entire school career really moving on the fringes but not jumping in. I was in clubs and organizations for two reason: I enjoyed them, and I was building a college admissions resume. I started with Speech and Drama really was a natural step from there - standing and performing is standing and performing. And really, the people in those clubs were always a little nerdy / odd and I had things in common with them. It quite simply took me aback that in someone else's reality, I was part of a crowd or somebody. And such a realization is somewhat bitter sweet. What changes in my life would have occurred if I had known that 23 years ago? But it's also water under the bridge because I wouldn't change the past and sacrifice my present for anything in the world.
But to those people - (Shannon Simmons and Karina Phillips who echoed the sentiments at the runion the next day) - I thank you for the life lesson that you shared with me. There is little doubt in my mind that it was because of you and that comment that I was supposed to be there - that was the lesson that I needed to learn and the words that I needed to hear. I had thought that perhaps the reason that I was going was that this was a final chance - the last chance, the next chance - to fit in - to be the person that I wanted to be - or rather to be the person openly fawned over and adored by all and sundry. Which is an insane wish in and of itself - because I am not that person. I don't like to be the center of attention - I don't like to socialize or flit from place to place - of fill my schedule / calendar with a never ending list of gatherings. I'd much rather have a few good friends come over, have a nice meal, and sit and talk and laugh and create memories and links. So, any or each of you, please feel free to stop by - we'll chat.
And to Steven, thank you again for giving me the courage and the inspiration to attend both evenings. I had a really good time (in my sit in a corner and watch the world), learned so much.
