About 3 years ago, my nephew Lanny purchased about $200 in pay per view porn from DirectTv. When I heard about it, I laughed out loud. Not at the money spent, but at the stupidity of it—thinking that he was not going to get caught. This week in my house, we had a similar incident. Apparently Franklin, my step-son, had been using his cell phone to access naked girlie pictures (only about 7 hours and 24 minutes worth of browsing). And if you know me, you will know that I do not have a cell phone plan in which we have free internet browsing included – so there was a $60 charge (split over two months). And of course, his phone kept a list of the his internet searches: hot girls, hot naked girls, video porn.
Ironically, Jose’s first response closely mirrored my own. Essentially, it was why is he looking on his phone, he can get a magazine (jose) or he could use the internet for free (mine). And for goodness sake, who in their right mind wants to peruse porn on a screen that is 1.5 x 2 inches in length – really. My only thought was that perhaps he wanted some privacy when he was looking (to which Jose in our chat suggested that maybe he use one of the magazines that comes here) – I was impressed that he had 7 hours worth of stamina – though is suppose it could have been 700 one minute sessions – though ultimately, I’m don’t really want to think about it.
Now, as we all know our first instinct, when confronted with our own wrong doing is to lie. Or perhaps you’re a really good person, but my first instinct is to lie. And Franklin was no different. Last month, when the first $30 appeared, I asked Franklin, and he said that he accidentally accessed the internet. I told him not to do it again and he agreed. When the second $30 appeared on this month bill (their billing cycle actually splits months with the land line – long story) – I was more than a little irritated. That parental irritation was quickly replaced by big sister glee that someone was getting in trouble – and I caught him. That glee is probably one of the reasons I became a teacher – a way to be in charge – ha ha ha I’m in charge and you can’t stop me – na na na boo boo. Anyway. I told Jose – who was not only irritated with Franklin but also mad because I didn’t mention the incident to him last month. So we had our little chat. Franklin lost the phone for a month, and has to perform slave labor until Jose feels he’s worked $60 worth – which is going to be punishment enough because Jose operates on Latin American pay scale so Franklin will probably be working for a very long time.
And then a miracle happened. Jose came to me and uttered the following phrase. “One good thing is that now Franklin is a man!” My husband finally took a step back and found the silver lining. I was awfully excited that such a feat could even occur. Franklin is a bit reserved. I don’t think I would say shy. But Jose was beginning to worry that he may be hitting for the other team – though my gay-dar didn’t go off (it is rusty – but not that rusty I don’t think). So, Franklin is a heterosexual teenage male who will be performing slave labor for quite some time – woo hoo!!!
